Elusive Ink

Currently Listening
This Time Tomorrow
The Kinks



I suppose it's about time for another blog post, despite the fact that no one seems to have read the last five or six...it's therapeutic for me. I think that a person's eighteenth birthday is definitely a just cause for reflection, introspection, good memories, and hope for the future. Which is exactly what I'm experiencing right now. I'm torn in this bittersweet conflict between feeling completely free, free of drama, free to explore this beautiful world...and a little bit nervous that maybe I missed out on something, maybe I'm not as prepared as I think I am. Perfectly natural feelings, I assume. Despite my few fears, I'm optimistic about my future and have lots of amazing opportunities on the horizon. But before going into the future, I want to highlight a few of the things from my past that have been on my mind lately. To remember and honor these memories, and people, very fondly.

First of all, my Mother is an incredible woman. She is an astounding role model, a great listener, and the most loyal of friends. We've been together through good and bad, and continue to enjoy (for the most part) sarcastically parading through life as the clones that we are. I've learned so much by following her example, and I'm so thankful to her for helping me to become who I am today. Because I'm proud to be who I am today, and that is due largely in part to her efforts and sacrifices over the past eighteen years. She has been chastising, supportive, devoted, loving, and trustworthy and I am so appreciative for all that she has given, and continues to give me.

One of the worst influences on my life, and the best confidants, has been my Grandmother. I tease, (of course) about her being a bad influence. She has broadened my mind and given me hope and encouragement that I can conquer anything, that I have a place in the world and it's something to be proud of. She has provided balance and alternate views on things, and questions about life that I never would have thought of otherwise. She's given me things to ponder, that have ultimately grown me into the person I am today. We've plotted, schemed, laughed, teased, loved, harassed, and generally wreaked havoc on the world for as long as I can remember...and I cannot imagine not having her in my life. It saddens and humbles me to know that some people don't have a phenomenal Grandmother (and friend) like mine, but it also causes me to value her that much more.

My Dad, what can I say? The past four years have had their ups and downs, but ultimately I couldn't imagine loving him more. Yet, each day he surprises me, and we grow closer, and reconcile differences, and I grow so much by having him in my life. When Mom decided to get remarried, I honestly didn't think that it could affect me as much or as positively as it has. A part of me had always felt cynical about the concept of a good husband and father in the modern world, but Dad has given me hope, and an abundance of love and understanding. While I may get slightly annoyed sometimes, I appreciate how much he loves me and how protective he is of me. (Which is really great when I need a guy kicked out of the house, lemme tell ya!)

I am also very proud to say that I will always be "PaPa's baby girl," and no matter how much time passes, and how many mistakes I make, I know that he'll always love me. (Even if I came in last in the spelling bee!) From sitting on his desk sharing TCBY, to "sneaking out" before Mom and Grandma got up on Mother's day to go strawberry picking, to his sometimes rude and grotesque (but nonetheless endearing) metaphors about life, I miss my PaPa so much when he's not around, and love and respect him more than I could say.

The one friend has been there, constant, as long as I can remember would be Grace. She's honestly more like a sister to me, despite how cliche that sounds. Whatever petty differences we have, I cannot imagine not being there for her. She's been through so much with me, and my family, and is pretty much a part of my family. We've survived adolescence together, somewhat unscathed, and somehow have managed to remain friends. (With minimal amount of drama, no less!)

Obviously there are tons of other people who I've been blessed by over the course of my life (Aunt Geri, Cassy, Fonseca, Mr. Pete...to name a few!) and it makes me feel so great to know that so many people love me, and support me, and care about the outcome of my life.

More later,
-Lindsey