Elusive Ink

As most of you know, I have two ardent passions that I'm pursuing career wise. My writing, and my artwork. (Photography, to be exact.) I'm building a portfolio, currently, to hopefully be able to begin to build clientèle and a career.

With that said, over the past few days I've begun a spring photoshoot of my siblings to sort of "kick off" my portfolio in portrait photography (eventually to be portrait and wedding photography) which is why I've not done much posting here.

In light of this, I thought I might share some of my photography as a little representation of how I've been managing my time.









You can find more of my recent work here...although I haven't uploaded much at all yet, expect to see quite a lot more in the near future! :-)

Lots going on - random family chaos...more details on that situation to come.

I sat at my computer, as I'd done for the past ten months solid. Or so it seemed. Monotony. What had been "temporary" turned into a permanent state of existence. What is existence? I questioned myself. Where the hell was my life going? No, this wasn't brought about by the break-up. I refused to allow myself to believe that. I just needed to find myself.

A knock at the door. Again.

"Yes?"

"Are you going to make lunch because Mom said that if you weren't going to then I could go ahead and make it because we're all hungry."

I rolled my eyes "I'm going to make lunch."

"When?"

"Soon."

Why did I feel so annoyed? I should be happy. I had every reason to be happy. I had a good relationship with my parents, every opportunity in the world. I was intelligent, fairly good looking. Why then, did I feel so confused? This wasn't me at all.

I sighed and heard the little "pop" of an IM on my slick little laptop. I didn't have many people in my Instant Messaging list any longer. I used to, but most online friendships had faded in the past few months. Not sure why.

It was someone I didn't recognize.

ArachnidShield63: Hello, Honor.
Honor.Isabel89: Hi...
ArachnidShield63: How are you today?
Honor.Isabel89: I'm okay. I'm sorry, I'm sure I should know you but I can't seem to remember you at all.
ArachnidShield63: Oh, no. You don't know me. No need to be embarrassed. I do know you though.
Honor.Isabel89: Oh? Through my blog?
ArachnidShield63: You could say that.
Honor.Isabel89: I'm...sorry?
ArachnidShield63: Are you seeking something?
Honor.Isabel89: Nah, I guess not.
ArachnidShield63: I think you are.
Honor.Isabel89: Who are you?
ArachnidShield63: I am Barak, an associate with a program called "The Labyrinth" and we believe that you are an ideal candidate. We've been profiling you for a very long time.
Honor.Isabel89: Is this a joke?
ArachnidShield63: No, it's an opportunity. I think the one you've been looking for. Maybe it's your destiny.
Honor.Isabel89: Hah, destiny.
ArachnidShield63: Yes.
Honor.Isabel89: Okay...so, what?
ArachnidShield63: No, I will not tell you any more here. Go to Starbucks in two days. April 11th. 2:00 exactly. I will be waiting there to talk with you.
Honor.Isabel89: I have a feeling my parents will be a little concerned about me meeting some strange guy at Starbucks.
ArachnidShield63: No. They won't. I'm going now.
Honor.Isabel89: Wait.
ArachnidShield63: No. Have a nice day.
-ArachnidShield63 is Offline-

Great. More drama and complexity added to my life. I sighed and printed off the chat transcript. I attempted to add my mysterious "friend" to my instant messenger contacts, only to be met with an error message.

-This username is not registered.-

I pulled the paper out of the printer and folded it neatly, matching each corner. I related the odd conversation to my parents, who seemed to have a hidden insight into the situation and encouraged me to be at Starbucks.

The next two days were some of most surreal I've experienced. Everything dragged, I was restless and yet also very subdued. The day finally arrived and I left half an hour early. My little motorcycle stuck to the road as if I were driving through molasses. I pulled into the parking lot of the small, commercial looking coffee shop down the road and chained my vehicle to a lamp post.

I probably would have stayed home had I known what walking into that Starbucks at 1:42 PM signified. I wasn't a very brave or daring person, and while I talked of grand adventures...my nature was to remain safely at home. In this instance, however, my curiosity got the best of me.

I ordered a hot mocha and cinnamon latte and sat in the table, in the back corner, swishing it slightly. Every man that walked through the door caught my eye, old and young. The twenty minutes I sat there waiting seemed a lifetime to my anxious nerves, as I got increasingly more twitchy from the caffeine.

I waited with my hands nervously shaking on the table, and finally...the table creaked and I looked up to see a young man sitting across from me. He was sharply dressed in crisp blue jeans, and a casual button-down shirt.

"Hi." I said, my voice wavering with excitement. I hadn't the courage to look him in the eye so I continued to stare into my coffee lid.

"Hello, Honor." He replied. His voice was ominous, and a little intimidating.

"Are you-" I began, trying to decide how to continue, and drag words through the hurricane of questions sweeping through my head.

"Don't ask questions. Let me explain." he interjected.

"Alright." I finally mustered the courage to look up into his face. His eyes were black...or, some sort of dynamic slate grey. They were piercing, and frightening, yet at the same time strangely captivating. I stared on with a driving intrigue.

"As you know, my name is Barak. I work for the Labyrinth program. There are a lot of qualities you do not know about yourself. Some of these things will be revealed to you, should you accept my offer. Some you will discover on your own, and others will remain dormant. I'm not at liberty to disclose as much as I'd like to, at this time. But one thing you should know, is that you are different from others. Everyone has gifts, but you have been called to a higher purpose. The labyrinth program is designed to help you discover and develop these gifts. The program has been developed individually for you, and others like you. For your whole life, as you are aware of it, a labyrinth has been developed for specifically for you. The questions now, however, is would you like to be a part of it, and use the gifts you’ve been given? Or would you like to go back to your life, and lose your purpose?”

He looked at me sincerely, waiting for my reply.

“What would it entail, if I were to choose to develop my gifts?” I asked while my brain wrapped around the concepts he’d introduced.

“The Labyrinth is a one year program. You would leave everything behind for one year, to come and live at our center.” He broke the solemnity with a laugh, “I say a year…I’ve been with the labyrinth program for five. We all have different callings.”

Stunned, I sat pondering. “A year…no contact with my family?”

“Sacrifices must be made, for a purpose to be fulfilled. Your parents have been completely informed, and it is your choice alone. Unfortunately, you’re required to make the decision now.”

“Now?” I asked, bewildered.

“Yes, today.”

“Can’t I wait a few years? Maybe after college? I don’t really understand the urgency.”

“Sometimes, Honor, you have to take things in faith without understanding or explanation. The time is now, your purpose will diminish quickly if you waited.”

Silence. I stared at a crushed straw-wrapper on the table for nearly an hour. He sat patiently next to me. He must have been deep in thought, but it wasn’t evident. He suddenly seemed two dimensional, without movement or breath. I was immobile. Finally, as if probing my thoughts, Barak looked me in the eye and broke the silence. “You’re ready to decide now.” He said resolutely.

“Yes,” I replied, confident in my decision. “I am. I’ll go.”

I don’t think he would’ve come, had he doubted my answer. In retrospect, he was very considerate to give me time to come to the decision on my own. Had I known what I do now, I would have made a different decision. Stood and returned to my monotonous life. At that time in my life, however, it seemed like just the purpose I had been looking for. It was “right.”

“I will be at at your house to pick you up in three days. You can say goodbye to friends and family, but you cannot discuss the nature of your absence with anyone. You are allowed one bag of personal items, you won’t need clothes.” He said abruptly before briskly making his way out of the door.

I sat puzzled for several minutes, and finally took the next logical step. I walked to the counter, and ordered a slice of lemon pound cake.

I wanna start it over.
I wanna start again.
I want a new a new beginning,
One without any end.
I feel it inside, Calling out to me.

It's a voice that whispers my name,
It's a kiss without any shame.
Something beautiful.
Like a song that stirs in my head.
Singing love will take us where something's beautiful.

Something Beautiful - Newsboys

---

Every day right now is a new beginning, it seems. Every waking moment a new chance for something to change, and take my life in a completely new and different course.

Yet somehow this morning when I woke up, nothing seemed as intimidating as it was before. Everything seemed fresh, and new...and ready for exploration. I feel inspired, and confident for inexplicable reasons (especially considering the chaos I've been through in the past few weeks.)

I'm not happy.
I'm still restless.

For today, however, I am completely flooded with Joy.

Unfortunately, life must go on...and I have papers to write.

More later.
-Lindsey

It seems April brings about not only drastic life changes (for better and for worse) but also serves as a time of reflection. Several of my friends (and myself) have been clearing out old journal entries, memories, and pictures. Seems we file them all away - and yet somehow you come back to them and they're all mixed up again because the last way they were filed is now obsolete.

What at time these past few weeks have been, this past year really has been quite a whirlwind. I'm amazed at all the changes over the past quite-some-time. Moving from the house I grew up across the country, the birth of my beautiful youngest sister Molly Emmanuelle Bledsoe, the graduation of some of my closest friends, the coming and going of a first boyfriend, and now...on the horizon, are so many other opportunities and prospects. College, driver's license, eighteenth birthday, two week Caribbean cruise, career building, hopefully a couple of good jobs, and several other incredibly stunning things that I'm not quite ready to reveal to the whole of the internet.

If you're over about twenty-five and reading this; I'm sure you're saying..."why the hell are you still up at 4:13 AM?" probably even some of my younger friends are asking themselves that. I'm pretty much asking myself that. Yet, here I am. I've been itchy all day from seasonal allergies, and now I'm feeling all achy...just could not sleep for the life of me.

I always write when I've got insomnia.

I was absolutely shocked with the realization that Molly is, indeed, six months old today...it seems like just yesterday I was up at 4:13 in the hospital room with Mom...text messaging and incredibly stressed because the world would come to an end if I didn't completely understand the deeper meaning of some literary work. Annnd...now I've become a lazy bum waiting until the last minute to submit papers. I know, terrible. I intend to get more on the ball over the summer. Schedules are great.

I'm quite excited to be going to Chicago for a few days in early May; should be a very nice chance to relax. I'm going with my Mom, Grandma, and youngest sister. We're staying at a very nice hotel on the miracle mile - and I intend to enjoy the little outing.

I'm also hoping to make it to Arkansas for a few days near the end of May or early June. Would be nice to spend some time with my Grandparents and old friends.

I also had something else to talk about but I'm beginning to drop off now.

More in the morning,
-Lindsey

I've made a very strange realization this morning...I'm not sure what it is about the month of April, but it tends to be very bad. I was looking through my email archives and found an argument between me and one of my best friends, dated April 3rd...and we'd decided not to talk for two weeks. (Which...when reading over it, sounds nearly identical to what we've gone through this April.) I also had shingles for three weeks this time last year, we found out we were moving in late April of '07, and I had some bad drama and stuff going on with a guy I knew at the time.

This year, I was broken up with April 1st, and several of my friends are going through hard times and rough break-ups...my Mom has had a ton of work-crud dumped on her, and we're all having trouble dealing with the kids...more than usual. Molly was sick, there was the whole brickfilms drama recently.

Although - I did have something...sort of interesting happen last night. I'm not going to detail it out yet, I want to wait and let history take it's course. But it's a really neat/exciting new chapter to my life. Maybe, rather than saying April is bad...I should say April is a time for drastic and deeply affecting change.

Speaking of change and new experiences...I'm heading to Writer's group in less than two hours now. I'm very nervous...and hoping to be able to meet some new people and learn something.

I'd love to hear anyone else's drastic life-changing April memories if you want to comment!

Have a great day,
-Lindsey

What an afternoon!

In an attempt to be Super Student in history class this afternoon, and impress our substitute teacher, after two out of the three students who were supposed to present were unable to. I tried to throw together a ten-minute presentation on John F. Kennedy. Whiiiich, someone else ended up presenting, and only ended up being three slides long. And...one of the slides only said "John F. Kennedy."

I know, pathetic, right? I'm off my game I guess.

Then, one of my classmates from the same history class instant messaged my computer with the ominous question. "Why don't you like me?" Which ensued in a forty-five minute argument, when I never disliked him in the first place. I hardly knew him! *sigh* Just the stress I needed in my life right now.

I have two essays to complete before midnight tonight, and a biology test due. (Which I intend to complete here in just a few minutes.)

AHHHHHG...I want to kick a wall! Bring spring break back! :( In better news...only 40 days until the end of the semester. Although I don't even want to think about finals right now. One day, one step at a time...that's all I can do right now.

I should probably get something to eat, and some water - because I'm sure I'm dehydrated, and I've only had a bowl of cereal today. But at the moment I'm just going to sit here...and rant...and vent...

Let's see, in better news, it was finally a sunny day. After...who knows how long, of overcast and dreary weather. The air smells amazing, too - despite it being cold, I have my window open. I also received two very sweet emails today, one from my cousin and another from my friend Lizzie. Always nice to know someone's thinking about you.

Oh, I'm just rambling nonsense now. I'm cold, and hungry, and need caffeine to sustain me through the rest of tonight. *sigh*

More later!

-Lindsey, who is certain that at some point, someone will figure out the significance of my recent catch phrase "I need a taco."

Having five siblings is the best abstinence program ever.

I woke up this morning to hear my incredibly dramatic sister whining to Mom about how everyone ALWAYS picks on HER, and my very frustrated mother mimicking her (quite accurately if I do say so myself.) to try and evoke some realization, with very little success.

Of course, I also have the amazing experience of having a BEAUTIFUL baby sister, Molly. She's my absolute best buddy, without a doubt. :P Even that, however, has it's incentive to wait a long time for children. On our way back from Kohl's last night, Molly decided that she was just going to be...sad. So she cried, and cried, and screamed. The entire way home. I felt bad for her...and yet, at the same time felt terribly bad for me.

Anyway, I've had a fairly good day thusfar, especially considering it's a Monday. Mondays are generally my least-favorite day of the week, second only to Thursdays. I'm not sure why...but Thursdays in general tend to suck.

I had something else to talk about...but I can't remember at the moment. It was very profound, too!! GRRR...

Okay, well, I haven't eaten today. I'll think of it later.

For now - have a wonderful Monday, and remember to smile!

Penelope dropped her duffel bag on the slick hardwood floor.

"Hello home." she whispered, it echoed.

She walked over to the window and looked down: eight stories. She stared down while she kicked off her converse shoes. This was her life, so drastically different than even a year ago. She walked over to the barren kitchenette and slid across the floors in multicolored toe-socks, ignoring the stacks of boxes and pulling a box of popcorn from the nearly barren cupboard. She stuck it in the microwave and hopped up onto the counter, in total disbelief that she was (as of ten minutes ago) on her own.

Jealous. Yes. That was the word she'd used.

She chuckled to herself as she sat on the counter and ate popcorn, staring around at the stacks of boxes scattered around the plastic-covered furniture, boxes of photography equipment and lamps with umbrellas stuck around the room randomly. Hopping off the counter, she began to unpack boxes, pulling out large prints of wedding flowers, and macro shots of infant feet and hands.

"Music..." she said aloud, walking to the duffel bag and pulling out an extremely thin laptop, plugging it into the wall and selecting a Playlist of upbeat Latin music.

She wondered as she unpacked, what had led her to photography, and specifically wedding photography. She couldn't remember...although it probably had to do with how desperately she wanted to get married, despite the lack of romantic interest in her life.

Pulling out of her muse, there was a knock at the door. A curious thing, since only a few people knew she lived here, and she wasn't expecting anyone over. She walked to the door, and opened it.

Standing there in the doorway was a very attractive elderly woman. Her eyes were piercing, and despite her obvious age...there was youth in her spirit. She was dressed in white linen pants, pulled up past her slightly round belly, and a powder blue striped button down that hung slightly on the woman's small frame. Silver hair framed her face attractively, in a deliberate 'bob' haircut, and her makeup was fresh, and light, and young. Penelope raised an eyebrow, "Hello?"

The woman pushed her way past the confused Penelope and walked into the cluttered and boxed apartment. She walked to the center of the living room floor and sat cross legged. Penelope turned to face the woman sitting in the middle of her living room floor, walking a few steps closer.

"Excuse me, can I help you ma'am? Are you lost?"

"No." the woman said quietly, with a mischievous smile. "I'm Genevieve."

I'm currently talking with an old friend of mine, who I'll keep nameless came to me with the following question tonight.

"So, out of curiosity. If you were offered some form of (interesting) mind-altering substance, think you'd try it?"

To which I responded, no. The conversation went somewhat as follows. I've cut out some things that are really unnecessary to this post.

-----

Me: Even without medical ramifications, I'd rather have the confidence to know I can conquer things on my own, and the support of people who care about me.

Friend:I'll say this much. Psychedelic experiences are no doubt caused by substances. But those experiences are certainly not contained within said substance...Think about lucid dreaming. Same thing.

Me: Yeah.

Friend: Even pot can be third-eye opening.

Me: I have some cousins who have experience with it...but I've also seen how dissatisfied and unsuccessful they are in their lives. I'm not tempted to follow.

Friend: Losers need something to fill the hole.

Me: I'm building a career. I have clientèle, good professors. I'm moving into a nice house over the summer. I have a cruise ahead of me, and people who care about me. Despite the fact that sometimes I have a complicated, stressful, and chaotic life at times–I have a good life–and I'm content in being a strong-willed, intelligent person. Why would I need to turn to substances to fulfill me? Isn't it more rewarding to work hard and find fullfillment in your career, studies, and relationships. (Not only romantic, but familial, friendships, collaborations, and mentors?)

Friend: Why can't one do both?

Me: I suppose some people could. I'm not willing to take the chance of sacrificing all I have...for some experimentation.

Friend: I see substances as a means to experience things I can't normally.

Me: I see...rock climbing, and boxing, and new people, and traveling as a means to experience things I can't normally. I think there's enough within the non-chemical/substance related realm to explore. When I exhaust all of my options there, maybe I'll reconsider drugs.
And...if you're looking for a supernatural experience, an out of body sort of state...try meditation.

Friend: Meditation I am no stranger to. Meditation and drugs happen to go hand in hand...

Me: Only if you allow them to.

Friend: I, by the way, don't really advocate all drugs. Alcohol, nicotine, cocaine, heroine, and various others. All basically suck. Uninteresting effects, possibility for physical addiction. THC, LSD, DMT, mescaline, psilocybin, salvia, ibogaine, and various others...Interesting effects, and, no possibilty for physical addiction.

Me: The most mind-altering drug I've experienced is prescription hydrocodone, and I didn't enjoy that at all.

Friend: I can't imagine one would.

Me: Besides, it wouldn't be worth the legality and issues to attain any sort of drug for an "experience", at least for me...when I've so much else to experience.

Friend: There is a place and time for everything. Despite what you have possibly been told, most drugs are not actually addictive. Even the addictive ones really aren't as bad as people try to make them sound. It's a matter of will power.

Me: Yeah, well I'm predisposed to addiction for one thing. Plus I have enough trouble getting out of bed every morning to work out. Getting the will power to break an addiction is not drama I want to add to my life.

Friend: Personally, I wouldn't close yourself off to the idea of drugs. They can be fun. They are, of course, recreation. Nothing more.

-----

I'm going to cut the conversation off there, because it only went into a downward spiral from there. But...I thought I'd share. It's an interesting concept. This guy, is very fascinated in psychology, lucid dreams, etc. Personally, I don't agree with recreational drugs...it's not worth it to me, whether there's side effects or not.

My friend is an atheist, and I didn't want to shut him down from talking to me...by bringing faith into the issue, but my spirituality and faith is far more fulfilling than a drug could ever be. My friendships and relationships being secondary to that, as things that I find worth my time.

However, I welcome opposing opinions, and different outlooks on the subject from anyone brave enough to comment! And while I'm on that track, allow me to pose to you, my readers, the same question that was asked of me a little while ago.

Comment Question: If you were offered some form of (interesting) mind-altering substance, think you'd try it?

With all of that said, I'm extremely tired and headed to sleep!
Good night, great void of the internet.

Good Afternoon!

It's a brilliant afternoon here in Oakton, VA - despite the lingering lack of sun. It feels like it's been raining for weeks...now it's just overcast and COLD.

It's one of those perfect days to curl up with a warm Starbucks and read some good literature and just sink into projects and studying...which is just what I'm doing! Hence the development of this blog. I introduced myself in my last post...and now I just rather feel need to rant.

You know, I have this amazingly quirky obsession with Eighties rock music. I think it started with my Mother...she bought a few 80's throwback mix CDs a few years ago, to relive the music of her teenage years, but at this point I've surpassed even her in 80's music knowledge. From U2, to The Police, to Whitesnake, to Men in Hats and Toto...I love and know it all. On days like today, however, I just get this irresistable desire to listen to Billy Joel. Don't get me wrong...I love all types of music, but I have some sort of Billy Joel addiction, I think.

So as I sit here and write, to the void of the internet...picture me rocking out to "My Life" and being a too hyped up on coffee. ;)

After a few weeks of feeling terribly depressed, I am finally feeling very refreshed and content today. I'm not sure why...I'm behind in school, I still don't have a job, my ex-boyfriend and I are still broken up, and it's icey cold in here. But I'm happy. Not even happy, joyful really. I just, cannot resist smiling. I feel more like myself than I've felt in a long time, and I'm loving it.

As you may or may not know, I am the oldest of six children:

Me (Seventeen)
Taylor (Twelve)
Zoe (Ten)
Sophie (Eight)
Declan (Five)
Molly (Six Months)

My siblings decided that today would be the perfect day to perform a circus they've been rehearsing for weeks. Now, anyone who has siblings, or children (or enough remembrance of being under fourteen and putting on a "show") will understand the miserable ramifications that can be associated with such events. First you get the "invitation" during which your fake-smile shares that you will be there, enthusiastically, to watch the juvenile performance. Then...after an hour of frantic scrambling, while you sit there and tap your foot, the children involved finally pull together all of the props needed for their grand production...and the play/show/circus commences.

There are two reasons I have the honor and right to make fun of this occurance. a.) I was very bossy as a little girl, and put on many such ridiculous productions. So, in essence, I am making fun of myself more than anyone. b.) I have had to sit through enough of these performances that God has sufficiently punished me for all of my childhood plays.

Going back to my story, my siblings have actually become fairly proficient and putting on short, well-thought and rehearsed plays. So, after lunch, we (my parents, and myself) were dragged to the front yard to see their amazing circus which consisted of a few well-attempted magic tricks, a five year old lifting a very large stick over his head, and "bubble science." The climax and shining moment of this production, however, was the interpretive dance routine, put on by my sisters Zoe, and Sophie. They began on opposite ends of our long circular drive, while Taylor began the triumphant and punky classical music. They ran melodramatically towards each other, and flounced around (as most 7-11 year old girls with no dance training generally do) for a good 2.5 minutes. Then, however, they were clever enough to throw something very creative into the mix. Declan ran frantically into the scene with a short stick, and "stabbed" Zoe to death. She lay on the concrete flopping like a fish, while Sophie ran to her dying side, and took the stick/knife, and stabbed herself, falling to hear death on top of the twitching Zoe.

The song ended.

It was the most amazingly funny thing I have seen in a very long time. I think, that every children's play, should end with a death scene so prolific.

Being the Geek that I am, I'm not a particularly social person. I have a few close friends (most living in other states.) and tend to stay to myself and the virtual empire I've built for myself among my internet friends. I have decided, however, that youth is a time for exploration and meeting new people...and have found a local Writer's club that I'm going to be attending this Wednesday.

For anyone who is even remotely geeky...you can understand what sort of pressure going alone to a social event is. Probably, most anyone, has felt the pressure and stress of facing an entire group of people alone, making yourself vulnerable and open to mocking failure. Obviously, situations rarely turn out so dismally. This, however, is how I am feeling about this event. On the one hand, I'm excited, and looking forward to meeting some intelligent, and like-minded potential friends. On the other hand...I'm incredibly nervous and feeling a little reclusive.

So, I'm putting this topic up for comment-discussion. I'm asking you to throw in your two cents and debate/discuss/advise on the best method to approach social gatherings.

Comment Question #1: How do you relax in these sorts of situations?

And...I would continue to ramble aimlessly but I've just realized that I haven't eaten today...as well as the fact that I have classes tomorrow, and studying to do.

Be sure to comment with any thoughts or hopes or rants. I'm always around to listen, advice, discuss, debate, and soak in the culture and thoughts of others!

With that said, have an absolutely spectacular day!
-Lindsey Ann

Well, I decided to start this new blog, rather than all of my writings and muses going to separate websites. (Facebook, Xanga, Myspace, Gallery, etc.) And...with that said, I should probably introduce myself. So...bear with me. I'm just coming through a very chaotic and rough few weeks, and am beginning to find myself again.

So...I'm about as quirky as they come, and I have a fair share of 'Geek' to go along with it!

I'm spontaneous, intelligent, independent, stubborn, resilient, broken, sarcastic, straight-forward, honest, loyal, prideful, stressed out, overemotional, free-spirited, untamed, open-minded, bohemian, diverse, restless, spiritual, content, curious, conquerer...and above everything, I'm passionate.

I am passionate about...

...my faith.
...my family.
...those few friends I care dearly for.
...new experiences.
...traveling.
...bringing joy to people's lives.
...self-expression.
...creativity.
...learning.

I am currently in some sort of limbo between High School and College, so rather than bore you with the details of that...I prefer to share my career goals. I intend to build my career as a professional Photographer (mostly wedding, but also family portraits, and event pictures.) and Web Designer.

My goal is to provide innovative Photography & Design services, and create a relaxing and comfortable photography experience. I have unique ideas, and am developing affordable, creative packages to make family portraits a fun bonding experience -- and take stress out of events like Weddings, by assuring clients that their moments will be captured vividly.

I enjoy traveling, working out, sketching, and have recently developed a passion for volunteer/missions work, which I've been avidly pursuing for over the summer.

My life goal is to build a flexible career that allows me to capture and bring joy to people's lives, however God intends me to do so...in a manner that allows me to support myself, but that I don't get so invested into my career that it's difficult to pull away when God finally brings that special 'someone' into my life. I have been discovering that God is preparing my heart to be a supportive, loving, nurturing (even if I am unconventional!) wife, and probably Mother. I also wish to continue pursuing my passions and career, but in a way that allows me to be the best, most supportive and devoted wife I can be.

Of course, I'm going to HAVE to continue to pursue my career, even if only 4 times a week...so I can pay someone to clean my house. Because...I always forget those domestic things. :P Hey, what can I say? I'm an artist. I'm quirky.

I would like to travel the world, and share experiences and culture with the significant people in my life, and potentially other people by way of an Arts & Culture column.

I am a conquerer, as taught to be by my Mother, who has survived and flourished through being a single divorced mother working three jobs, to opening her own business, to entering the beautiful journey of a God-intended marriage, and blending two families into one. She has inspired me to know I can set goals, and accomplish them no matter how irrational or unrealistic.

Things I'd like to do before I die (I'll add to the list):

-Be THE. BEST. quirky unconventional wife/mother/photographer ever.

-Learn to gracefully accept hardship and sacrifices.

-Discover a cure for Female hormones. (Stupid emotional roller coaster.)

-Compete in a Ballroom/Latin Dance Competition

-Publish Cognoscenti

-Own an Art Gallery

-Learn to Surf/Snowboard

As for now, I'm working hard, studying and developing my small business. Building my finances to be able to rent a nice townhouse within the next year, as well as purchase a car, and some nice photography equipment.

I live on coffee, and sleep deprivation...and thrive on imagination as I always have. All throughout my life I've seen things vividly, I dream vividly and remember my dreams, I see the world in brilliant color, and the imaginary "games" I played as a little girl have become so ingrained into my history and personality, that I associate certain memories (birthday parties, holidays, etc.) with adventures I played out in my imagination. This is potentially due to my being a mild synesthesiac. (Wiki it...it's kinda cool.)

I'm the oldest of six siblings, and I'm not terribly social. I generally spend my time at home, or Starbucks, studying or working on design projects.

Overall, I'm just your average almost-eighteen-year-old girl. Sometimes I laugh so hard my sides hurt, and sometimes I'm depressed. Hopes and dreams are a part of every moment. I get lonely, and irritable, and annoying to be around...and yes, I even get hormonal. (Boys, go wash your eyes with holy water.) Sometimes I'm shallow, I like Gap brand PRODUCT (Red) clothes, and Vans shoes, and dump WAY too much money into DVD's and nice furniture. I'm an apple/mac fangirl , another thing I spend way too much money on. I'm in love with my macbook and my iPod...and have intent to purchase an iMac, airport, and iPod Touch in the near future. :P

At the end of the day, I'm me...take it or leave it. I'm proud of my accomplishments, and my hopes for the future. I've made mistakes (as has everyone) but I pride myself in being accepting of others, and learning from my own mistakes. (Most of the time...)

Intermission
By Lindsey Ann Bledsoe

Separate bristles brush against the grain,
smooth when directed back again.
Black and white, painful stripes.
Clouded purple in hesitant shame.

When times were the same.

We watched each other shine,
whisking away precious time.
Letters and voices were enough,
to admit we didn't need to be tough.

Your eyes, they opened up.

A brush of skin, a fading grin,
the horror of the world sets in.
Losing our way to Neverland,
gripping tightly to your hand.

Suddenly, the world was grand.

Escape is overrated.

A reddened eye looked our way,
and we became reality's prey.
Shrouded together in future's doubt,
Too afraid to find our way out.

I stare at you throughout.

For now, we must release our hold.
And plow into mysterious cold.
Where only our distant voices remain.
Until we wander out again.

We toast our friendship with champagne.

A curious glance.
An overdue dance.
Perhaps, in time, renewed romance.

For now, I sit and talk to you.
I wait, and watch for life's debut.
The intermission never lasts,
the final act is unsurpassed.

We prowl, circle, play the game.
Refusing ever to be tamed.

Again we'll go to neverland,
in bright pajamas, hand in hand.

And in the meantime, here I stand...my feet immersed in warm, soft sand.

One thing you might not know about your life: It's filled with culture and fine arts, modern and ancient, abstract and realistic, good and bad. I've had so many people emphatically insist that while it's nice to be well-rounded, fine arts are not necessary for their lives. If you're one of these people, please allow me to dissuade you of this notion.

What comes to mind when you hear the words "Fine Arts" or "Culture": Museums? Operas? Sculptures? Couture? These are all legitimate thoughts, but the definition of arts goes far beyond these things. With a bit of investigation into your lifestyle, you'll find an explosion of culture lurking beneath the surface.


DC1/Lindsey Bledsoe

Notice the architecture of buildings around you and how they resemble those of ancient Egypt, or Greece, or Rome. Sit in a coffee shop and observe that guy in the corner, sulkily sporting his "goth" persona. He reflects the whole Gothic-romantic movement from the eighteenth century--and probably doesn't even know it! Theater began on the stage and has now evolved into more, but we see reflections of age-old stories, characters, and formats in the drama of the movie theater.

Rhythm, music, and dance are more diverse in our lives than they have ever been. There's something for everyone. Listen to your favorite song. How does it make you feel? Inspired? Connected to other human beings? Essentially, that is the most important purpose of artistic culture: a connection. Whether your style is classic, bohemian, urban, Gothic, punk, abstract, Victorian, or any of the other myriad of styles, (whether you know it or not) they all have very direct links to the progression of cultures and arts over the course of history.


Sculpture Garden/Lindsey Bledsoe

Even technology can be attractive and artistic. Pull up your favorite web page and look at it - not the content, but the colors and layout. Good or bad, some graphic artist designed it. Flip open your cell phone, and notice the color and the contour. Someone created that form and strives to make things more attractive.

So by this point, either I've piqued your interest, you're thinking "So what?", or you're not even reading anymore. But regardless, examine what life would be like without these things. It's necessary that arts continue evolving, and that we--as the modern generation--develop an appreciation for them before they die.

I've displayed the major part that modern and ancient arts plays in your life, but it shouldn't end there. Arts evolve with us over time, but we need to maintain a connection to the classics. That doesn't mean you have to force yourself to choke down stuffy aristocratic arts. However, I urge you to try and explore, don't like opera? Try ballroom dancing. Don't like Museums? Try smaller, eclectic galleries. Can't swallow Shakespeare? Try Moliere.

There are three important keys to embracing culture in your busy lifestyle:

First, find a starting point, because once you start you may not be able to get enough. Even if something seems boring or overwhelming right now, if you start small you may find yourself longing for what you used to think of as "boring."

Second, don't judge! I cannot stress this enough. It sounds cliche but it's one of the most critical components to embracing art and culture. Read, observe, and broaden your horizons--even if you disagree with the content. Rather than avoiding new ideas like the plague, appreciate them as history and use them to question and reaffirm your beliefs.

Third, be open-minded. Don't shut yourself off to things that you have no experience in. Just because you're not well-versed in something doesn't mean you can't find value in it, and possibly even enjoy it! One of the best ways to come up with original ideas and perspectives is to jump into something you have absolutely no background in.

With that said, I am looking forward to investigating and exposing the explosive world of unrealized cultures. My goal as your arts and culture columnist is to pique your interest and get you excited, to provide a modern outlook on the classic arts and culture that seem to be dry or dead. To delve into arts lost in the shuffle of today's hectic pace. To provide intimate portraits of modern artists. And to expose modern arts that are still barely developing--but may one day make history.

While the holidays are over, most of us are already looking ahead to winter break, and even further ahead to the end of the '07-'08 school-year. Something about January always motivates me to clean things out and kick-start the year with a bang. On that note, I'd like to provide you with the same "bang" by listing out eight ways to infuse 2008 with culture and color.

8. Be the Color

We underestimate our role in modern culture. We all build new styles, expressions, and art-forms every day (usually by accident). However, if we seize this power, we can help define how our culture is viewed five years from now, fifty years from now, and maybe even five-hundred years from now. You never know who has noticed that unique outfit you put together, or the clever beat you were humming through the grocery store. So, be intentional; don't just throw on sweat pants and jeans, or keep that tune inside your head. Let your expressionism escape. Even if you don't change the world, it leaves you feeling refreshed and unhindered by the restraints of monotony and the expected.


A-1/Lindsey Bledsoe

7. Explore Cultural Arts

No foreign culture reflections in the U.S.A are un-americanized. Interpretations of artwork, music, and plays are all tainted by our perception of acceptable and right. Accept nothing at face value--always delve deeper. Not everyone has the money to explore these foreign cultures at the source (I sure don't!), but there are so many incredible resources available to give you a more objective view of what is a true representation of ethnic cultures.

(Check out these resources to learn about Cultural Arts.)
http://www.virtualquincy.com/quincy/culture/museums.html
http://www.si.edu/


A-2/Lindsey Bledsoe

6. Music and Theater

Broadening musical and theatrical horizons has become an increasingly less important priority in modern culture. A surprising amount of young teens have never been to a symphony performance, opera, or classical theater. It saddened me to attend a weekend performance of Aida and find a nearly nonexistent audience composed of a few scattered elderly couples with season tickets.

World-class theater productions become expensive quickly, but there is something to be said for the character in an inexpensive performance by a small acting troupe. Exposing yourself to culture is not defined by expensive theater productions and broadway plays, but by putting yourself out there and experiencing classic stories in different ways, with unique (and sometimes downright awful) interpretations.

While it's not necessary in expanding your tastes, I also encourage you to seek out one or two really well-produced (albeit more expensive) performances now and then. Giving up a little on the front end can enrich your life in the most abstract and incredible ways.

(Check out this resource to learn about classical theater.)
http://www.ticketmaster.com/section/arts_theater?tm_link=tm_arts_header


A-3/Lindsey Bledsoe


5. Surrealism

This modern art phenomena has earned a reputation for having dark and twisted undertones. While this is true of some work, it's still beneficial to explore the lighter and more mysterious side of surrealism. This genre of art has an abstract whimsy that remains unparalleled through almost all other genres.

(Check out this resource to explore surrealism further.)
http://www.markryden.com/


Hidden/Lindsey Bledsoe

4. Ballroom, Latin, Swing, something for everyone!

The social dance community has experienced quite a comeback in the past few years. Between television shows like "Dancing with the Stars" and "So You Think You Can Dance?" and an influx of teens and young adults who are musically inclined, Ballroom, Latin, Swing, and other popular social dances have been revitalized with a modern twist. Social dance is available in most areas of the U.S. with a little investigation. Each dance I have attended in the past six months has surprised me with the increasing amount of younger dancers. It's a great way to be social in a non-threatening and active environment.

To get into the dance scene in your area, search the internet with "Social Dance" or "Swing Dance Club" in conjunction with your City. Local newspapers also tend to have social dance or event sections that list all of the dances, times, and requirements. (Most social dances have a complimentary group lesson with price of admission, and don't require you to have a partner.) The best way, however, to find a group you fit in with is to attend a social dance and talk with people there about other places you might try. Generally, experienced social dance members don't stick to one style of dance, and can put you in connection with the best fit for you, be it a weekly/monthly dance, Salsa, Lindy Hop, or Viennese Waltz.


(Check out this resource for links to swing dance clubs around the US!)
http://www.americanbopassociation.com/


Dance/Lindsey Bledsoe

3. Lifestyle Art

It's easy to flip through a magazine and be impressed with the modern, ecclectic styles of "modern homes." It's significantly harder to incorporate these seemingly perfect displays into a functional space. However, if you can find a few pieces of art that represent your lifestyle, it adds a great deal of character to an otherwise efficient, yet colorless area. You don't have to be a craft queen or the a world-class sculptor to add an artistic flare to your spaces, nor should you have to shell out hundreds or thousands of dollars for priceless artwork.

Craft stores like Hobby Lobby and Michaels have great sales on art prints that, if framed correctly, can look very sheek. A lot of furniture companies offer more 'artistic' pieces to supplement in with your bargain buys. Even having one bright lamp or a sculpture that makes you smile to offset that messy desk can bring your style into your daily life. Don't fear being bold, fear being complacent. (Be the hawaiian punch in an oatmeal lifestyle.)


A-4/Lindsey Bledsoe

2. Urbana Boheme

Bohemian art and culture has been a development of the past forty years or so, and is generally associated with beatniks, hippies, and other slightly bizarre artists. "Urban bohemia," however, is a new and improved spin on an old (and incredibly flawed) genre. This artistic movement of coffeehouse, free-spirited and abstract thinkers and musicians is by far my favorite development in modern culture.

Urban bohemian groups are not always easy to find. However, when you happen upon one, it will be evident. There is no basic ideology among these groups of friends and artists. You'll find a mixture of the most conservative christians, to nonconformist surrealists, who all enjoy each other's company despite their differences.

It is one of the most fascinating and intelligent movements of the 21st century, and we can look forward to seeing it expand and develop over the next several decades.


A-5/Lindsey Bledsoe

1. Virtual Arts & Culture

It would take more than a few paragraphs to thoroughly delve into the world of digital arts. From web design to digital photography, this rapidly growing art form has become increasingly popular over the past 10 years. ACSII art, vector-based portraits, and photo manipulation are a few of the many popular art forms available on digital art forums and websites. While these skills can be easily learned to an adequate level, as with any other art form, those with exceptional talent stand out significantly.


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Whatever form you choose to pursue, don't allow yourself to fall into monotony. Pursue your passions, and remember that Google is a great way to do that. With that said, have a wonderful, culture-filled 2008!