Elusive Ink

Currently Listening
In My Dreams
Walter Meego



First of all I have a few new artists that I'd like to encourage anyone who reads this to check out

Walter Meego, who just released his first album "Voyager" (which I've been waiting months for the release of) has lived up to the high expectation. This slightly alternative/techno pop album strikes a perfect balance between being emotional without going over-the-top. If you're a fan of The Weepies, Imogen Heap, Ingrid Michaelson, Metro Station, or Clay Aiken, I definitely suggest this album to you.



The other album I'd like to suggest is growing in popularity with the Norah Jones crowd. Duffy's "Rockferry" does not disappoint with unique, evocative, peaches-and-cream vocals and poigniant, diverse lyrics.



With all that said...last week was definitely interesting. Monday marked the end of my first full week as a "working girl" and while I still love my job -- I'm already learning a lot and feel like it's growing me. If nothing else, I'm enjoying the experience and have several great anecdotes to share.

I worked HBA (Health & Beauty...dunno what the "A" stands for) all weekend, which was quite an experience in itself. I think hundreds of tiny little lipgloss tubes are going to haunt me in my sleep for a long time to come, just because of that experience. My first few days, I worked during the same time as someone else who "always" does HBA, so I'd been zoning (straightening shelves, restocking.) for the office supplies and home accessories.

If you're squeamish...especially guys...beware the rest of my rant. You've been warned.

First of all, ladies, I'd like to know why it's necessary for us to pick up a separate package of each type of pads and tampons, examine the box, read the sales pitch, and put it back in the wrong place? I'm sorry - but stocking the "feminene hygiene" asile has made me feel altogether boring. I've been using the same pads since I was thirteen. I mean, honestly -- scented? with wings? (You want your crotch to fly away?) "Ultra" (what the hell does that even MEAN?), Maxi, long, short, thin, thick, sport, butterfly? What's next? Moth? Bald eagle? How much selection do you really need for four days out of the month? Can it really make that much of a difference? And why do women feel the desperate need to read the boxes? I mean, honestly - unless you're twelve...you should know the purpose. Personally, I don't want to know how ultra absorbent they're going to be. Talk about overanalyzation. I worked this particular aisle the other day...and it was a wreck. Makes sense though, I might feel like pulling packages off the shelves and kicking them around the floor if I'm PMSing at an inconvenient time.

My job, is to make the aisles look nice, however, and any sympathy I would normally have to my fellow woman-kind was quickly dampened by the disheartening aisle in front of me. While at first I thought it was impossible to make pads and tampons look attractive, by the time I was done with that aisle it was the most attractive pads aisle you've ever seen...any woman would be proud to walk down there and buy her personal products!

Okay guys...you can come back now. :P

It's hilarious to see how awkward people get asking for things like, pepto bismol. "Excuse me can I find the, uhm...uh" *leans in closer and lowers voice* "pepto bismol?"

Kind of makes you want to loudly ask, "Having some poop issues? Are you sure pepto is what you need? Do you have nausia, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, or diarrhea? Because you know, if you're constipated pepto bismol really won't help."

Not that I would ever do such a thing, but gosh it's amusing to think about during hours of making sure that hundreds of little advil boxes are stacked 6 wide, and 5 high, and pulled to the front, and lined up with the front edge of the shelf.

Oh, and Grandma, in case you happen to be reading this...next time we're shopping and you go to open a package, I'm going to flick you in the head. Memo to readers: open packages go to guest services, where they can never be sold. If you open it, you'd better buy it because otherwise that means some poor zoner has to walk all the way to the other side of the store.

You'd be amazed how many people steal things...in fact, a coworker of mine found an empty condom wrapper on the floor the other day. Talk about desperate! (Makes you think twice about using public fitting rooms...I'll take it home, try it on, and return it if it doesn't fit -- thank you very much.) Some of the stolen items are understandable, like little "Smuckers" lip gloss that you can imagine little kids opening without anyone seeing and stuffing in their pockets. But people take the most bizarre things and leave the wrappers/boxes as evidence. Why? Doesn't even make sense. Is it really that much better to go through the hassel of stealing something, rather than paying $3-$5 for it. (Which is the approximate price of most of the stolen things I find.)

Some people even steal things quite obviously, for instance...the other night I was walking along the rows in cosmetics, doing some last minute touch up before the store closed. It was pretty much desolate, and I turned a corner to find this petite korean woman sitting in the floor of cosmetics, opening nailpolish and painting her toenails. I stood and watched her for a moment, thinking maybe my presence as an employee would prompt her to make her decision about the color and leave. But no! There she sat...meticulously painting every single little toenail. I called over my supervisor, who went and asked "Can I help you find something?" to which she cheerfully answered "Nope! I'm fine thanks." My poor supervisor was befuddled...perhaps this was her tactic to throw him off? A criminal mastermind, deflecting intimidation tactics and continuing on her merry way? The annoying thing is...it worked. My supervisor just shrugged and walked off.

I'm sorry, but I do not want to go in and buy a bottle of nailpolish that someone has already used out of. That's 1-2 uses that I won't have. Grrr...annoying.

The most fascinating of my days at work, however, was Monday. After having worked my first weekend (and what chaos that was!) I went in expecting Monday evening to be fairly docile. Boy, was I wrong! Two of the employees that work in our (incredibly large) division of the store had called in sick for the day, and that left two of us, myself and my incredibly antisocial supervisor. She's not bad, at all, she can be nice...although even when she's joking, her flat affect leaves you questioning whether she's joking or trying to use some sort of death glare passive aggression.

I have discovered, that she strongly dislikes people. I thought, at first, that it was me...but upon further observation, she doesn't like guests either. She's one of those people who always seems annoyed. I try, for her sake (and the customers) to intercept anyone going towards her for help, and offer slightly more cheerful assistance. I enjoy the guest service more than the zoning, something about helping people find things and sharing smiles with someone I'll never see again really energizes me. Annnyway...Monday evening was a nightmare, I think I had to re-zone the sunscreen endcaps about two dozen times over the course of my shift...and I kept getting questions about lice shampoo. I don't think we carry it, and kept referring people to the pharmacist. But friday when I work again, if I get that question -- I'm going to ask the pharmacist myself, just so I'll know. Yeah...that was a weird little tangent.

I was honored to recieve my first day with the PDT (holstered scanner thingy) and Walkie over the weekend, which was fun in itself. Scattered across the store are little phone stations, with "call service" buttons that the customers can use to summon guest assistance. When pushed, an automated voice (much like the computer in Star Trek) comes over the walkie talk and says "Fast service needed in ___." I'm waiting anxiously for the day that someone hacks the computer and suddenly robot-girl says "Unbearably slow service needed in _____."

Over the course of my supervisor's break on Monday evening, that left me as the only employee in our department that speaks good english, so my supervisor left me in charge of taking the phone calls at the stations around Hardlines B, and responding to any service calls. I figured
"she's going to be gone 30 minutes, how much service could people possibly need?" and agreed to take the calls. She went through the training procedure for the phones, and headed off to the breakroom. Meanwhile, I was in cosmetics trying to make two shelves of toenail clippers look "nice" (there are some things...that just can't look nice.) Suddenly, my walkie talkie started beeping...dead battery. TSC (Team-member Service Center...or something to that effect.) is quite a ways from cosmetics, and I was the only one in charge of taking the calls in our section, so I went running across the store to get a battery change, and just as I'm walking out of TSC (the front corner of the store) my walkie goes off that I have to take a call in bath and bedding in the far back of the store. I bolt through the store, running down uninhibited aisles only to try and take the call...and realize they've hung up. I walk back up to cosmetics at the front of the store, and there again is the intercom to take the call in bath and bedding. I felt like a little rat running through a lab maze.

Anyway - I s'pose that's enough rambling for now. Gotta remember to write this other stuff out tomorrow.

Goodnight for now!
-Lindsey