Elusive Ink

Anonymity
By Lindsey Ann Bledsoe


I'm not who I thought I was,
and I'm not who I wanted to be.
But now, thanks to you,
I am realizing that there's
hope for myself being me.

I don't need who I thought I did,
and I thought I needed no one.
But I've discovered I might need you,
when all is said and done.

I still smile...and rhyme okay.
But dissonance can still remain.

Broken discord, rules my brain.
I'm pretty sure that I'm insane.

A sickness infects one and all.
I travel, slowly, through the wall.
Translucence shrouds me, so they say.
But how did I end up this way?

They watch. In horror and amusement.

Can you imagine sheetrock through your veins?
He pulls me through, I still remain.
Please send me someone, as I pray.

Don't pity me!
Never mistake my silence for apathy.
Don't tell me what my God cannot do.
That, my friend, is always up to you.

Endless chatter doesn't mean I care.
But for you, my pet...I'm always there.

You tolerate my recalcitrance.
On what is just a fleeting chance.

I watch your eyes dart, there, and there.
I see your soul behind the glare.
Sometimes, I think it might be true.
At other times, unfair to you.

I want to know. To reconcile.
Why can't I even see a mile?

Resolution isn't there.
My painted hands will still look bare.
Give me closure, or a light.
Take away each restless night.

Corners, hills, rehearsals, strife.
Hard things are the meat of life.

I need a clear direction now.
I can't just trust, I don't know how.

No! Stop. Don't tell me that.
I'm sick of always falling flat.

An open spirit has a chance.
I need to close my eyes and dance.
Just run away and watch my eyes.
I don't change much, through passing time.